I used to sleep under a blanket of price-scalped NES Classics

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Star Fox 2 (2017)

Even when the NES Classic was announced, I found a way to be snooty about it. Here was a wonderful, official little gizmo from Nintendo, with a good price point, perfectly replicated aesthetics, and heaps of retro goodness. How could I possibly look down upon it? But you already know that that’s a silly question, because nerds will look down upon anything to suit their own agenda. In this case, I already had a NES plus a lorryload of games that, in any case, were mostly clag, so what was I missing out on?

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I could have been an ace pilot if only my yoke pointed the right way

star-fox-zeroStar Fox Zero (2016)

Time for you to hear about yet another one of my amazing feats: yes, I am a bona fide aviator. I don’t mean I talk about tangos and foxtrots (outside of the local dance hall) and I don’t wear the silly goggles and all that, but I have flown an actual plane. That is, I had the proper pilot next to me, telling me absolutely what not to do and occasionally helping me furiously wipe the carpet of sweat off my brow, but I did assume control of the thing for a whole thirty seconds. And I was cacking it for every one of those thirty seconds.

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If I was a spacefaring fighter pilot, I’d make sure my call sign was Silver Fox

Star_Wing_Logo

Starwing (1993)

A whore for graphics I am not. Do I really look like I’d be someone who expressly looks for looks? Well, it’s true that I do have more than a little bit of vanity, but when you’ve got a face like a truck, you need to make sure that you’re not left exposed to cruel laughter. In any case, if I cared that much about appearance, surely I’d dye the grey out of my hair?

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Lylat Wars/Star Fox 64 (Long)

Lylat Wars Logo

Lylat Wars (1997)

* Known as Star Fox 64 in the United States

Review, 22/11/12

INTRO

Starwing (or Star Fox) for the SNES was a great game, in which you played as a talking fox named… er, Fox, who headed up the Star Fox team of four elite mercenary fighter pilots – the rest of the team being made up of Falco Lombardi, Peppy Hare, and the remarkably less talented fourth member, Slippy Toad. The Star Fox team were tasked with defeating the evil scientist Andross, as he led an invasion of the game’s galaxy, the Lylat System, and gained control of most of its planets. They would complete this task by use of four cutting edge fighter ships, called Arwings.

Starwing was the first 3D game for the SNES, a feat brought about by the engineering of the remarkable Super FX graphics accelerator chip, allowing the game to render polygons and advanced scrolling. This enabled Nintendo and Argonaut Software (co-developers of the game and the Super FX chip) to design the 3D scrolling rail-shooter which introduced Fox McCloud and company to Nintendo’s assortment of characters.

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