PlayStation 3 (2007)
I moved house recently, which brought with it all sorts of unforeseen issues. The time and costs involved in moving your own stuff out is fine – you can plan for that. But in our case, we went without Wi-Fi for almost two weeks and I know you’ll agree with me when I say that that is a major deprivation of one’s human rights. I would put a lack of wireless internet for two weeks right up there with having no food, water or shelter – it’s a frightfully tough thing to get over.
Continue reading “Weighs as much as George Foreman, and it looks like one too”
Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage! (1999)
We could all do with a holiday, that’s for sure. That’s true at any time of year though, isn’t it? A holiday should be designed to destress you, but if you ain’t careful, then there’s a lot about holidaymaking that can distress you instead. Get your holiday booking very wrong, and it’ll make you wonder why you didn’t just hide behind your papers at work instead, where everything made sense and the teabags didn’t have strings on them.
Continue reading “Start your holidays right with a gyros platter and a dragonfruit mojito”
Mega Man 8 (1997)
I used to think I had a voice like the Gods. It’s deep as hell alright, or at least it rumbles through buildings – good when you want to intimidate the mice, rats, and spiders in there, but not so good if you’re doing your best not to wake people up. I always hoped I’d have what they always disparagingly call “dulcet tones”, but the first time I heard myself on playback I was mortified.
Everyone always says the same thing when they hear themselves sounding like an ignoramus on tape: “That’s not me, is it?!” And actually it’s a pity that they’re not still being recorded when they exclaim this, because that’s the most emotional range they’ll ever be able to voice.
Continue reading “The little boy in blue screams like a girl, and Elmer Fudd is to blame”
Final Fantasy VIII (1999)
A year ago, when I was doing up a piece on classic gaming couples for CHUNK.ie and The R.A.G.E. for St. Valentine’s Day, I was actually struggling pretty badly. Yes, there were a whole host of tantalising will-they-won’t-theys like Link and Zelda. There were also friend-zone jobs like Mario and the Princess, and even a rare reversal with Sonic the Hedgehog and Amy Rose. And there’s even pairings that eventually turned sour, like Snake and Meryl. But proper romantic love stories? They were quite tough to shoot my arrow through.
Continue reading “Somebody crowbarred a love story into this card collecting RPG”