Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings (1999)
Alright, hands up who’s a sore loser? Today I’m too brow-beaten by life and accepting of mediocrity to really care anymore, but I used to be a right screaming shit back in the day. I distinctly remember playing a relaxing game of chess with my brother, no pressure or tension at all, except for my self-professed young grandmaster status getting in the way and letting my ego get the better of me. It looked like I had the game won, until – wouldn’t you know it – I fell right into the trap.
Continue reading “Load up Age of Empires II, and I promise you won’t beheading towards defeat”
Mad Max (2015)
A few years ago, I happened to see the new Tom Hardy flick, Mad Max: Fury Road in cinemas. It seemed to have drummed up a fairly substantial amount of hype, so on we plodded to see it. It had all kinds of rave reviews, looked destined for quite a few Oscar nominations, the lot.
Four hours later, having watched a man and a few hangers-on exchange dialogue that didn’t make any kind of sense, drive across a vast desert and keep teasing a big action sequence without ever delivering, the credits finally rolled. Myself and my pals were pretty much left speechless, wondering was this just a fake-out before the film actually began, before one flat Dublin accent behind me opined, “All that for a bit of water?!?”
Continue reading “For tedious desert jaunts, Lawrence of Arabia’s got nothing on Mad Max”
Westwood’s Monopoly (1995)
It looks like board games are making a comeback in a big way. I say comeback because anyone would have thought that video games would put paid to them. After all, why ponce around with dice and scorecards and cheap bits of plastic when you can fly fighter jets and destroy cities and play tennis with Mario instead? But now board games are being busted out at house parties and drinking sessions up and down the country, and suddenly it’s games of Mousetrap and Frustration that are dominating the social scene, rather than games of FIFA and, I don’t know, Rocket League.
Continue reading “Who knew a game where you can’t eat metal dogs and paper could be so fun?”
Theme Park World (1999)
Ever the go-getter, my interest was piqued by a recent newspaper ad I came across looking to hire a manager for a theme park. The place was its own island, the Lost Kingdom, and it was dinosaur themed. Of course, I immediately had terrible thoughts of Jurassic Park, in particular the bit where Newman from Seinfeld gets torn up by peacock dinosaurs, having just had his face melted off. I’m a bit of a Newman really, but I thought I’d apply.
Why not? I had nowt to lose, and in any case I was still waiting to hear back on second interviews for several lion taming roles – I had to do something with my degree after all. And wouldn’t you know it, the Theme Park national manager Mr. Terrywogan got back to me almost straight away with a call to interview. Continue reading “Need to rob, oppress and dismember children? I’m your man”
Micro Machines: World Series (2017)
In the beginning, Sega created Outrun, Rareware created RC Pro AM and Square created Rad Racer, and God said, Let there be racing: and there was racing. And these games were renowned for their time but were fraught with limitation, and the video game players of the Earth did cry out for a new racing game that could be played in multiplayer and that was madcap and accessible to all.
Continue reading “On the seventh day, God rested. While He wasn’t looking, Codemasters nipped in”