Super Smash Bros Pub Fight Tier List (Part 11)
It’s been pretty emotional, and stressful to the body too, you know. I have to sit down and imagine what it would be like if I was relying on, say, Sonic the Hedgehog, to bail me out of a pub pagger. And if he can’t, I have to imagine what it’s like to get a clump in the head off the biggest, most boozed up nutter at the forefront of the aggro. To do this, I hit myself in the head as hard as I can while screaming for help from the Ice Climbers. You can call it method writing.
So you needn’t be too sad about these pieces coming to a conclusion, because it’s all a load of nonsense anyway and there probably isn’t a single character in Smash Bros Ultimate who sitting alongside won’t get you targeted and bullied, apart maybe from Snake. And one of these days, you never know, I may do a tier-list for every single Smash Bros song based on their suitability to a pub Spotify playlist. Would you read that…?
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We’re definitely getting to one of the most interesting parts of the Sinnoh Pokédex now – some long awaited evolutions to older generation Pokémon. It shows you that Pokémon fans don’t know what they want, though – we were all crying out for some new evolutions to old favourites, and then when we finally got them, we all complained just as much, as you shall see in a moment.
And now look, there’s been a number of generations that have come out since Diamond and Pearl, and evolutions to existing favourites have become scarce again, though not so scarce that Farfetch’d didn’t get some treatment. We’re never going to be happy, us Pokéliebers. But in our defence, would you be happy with Rhyperior?
Continue reading “Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 21)”
Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 20)
There comes a time in every man’s life when he realises that it’s over, beyond any shadow of a doubt. Generally, this is when a man walks into the baby section of a department store for the first time and realises he now needs to appear knowledgeable about their baby’s health.
You may not know what to ask for when you’re in there, but fear not because I’m about to take you on a tour through the Pokémon Gen 4 Baby section. You should recognise some of the faces – they look just like your mates twenty years ago, back when you all used to have a booming social life.
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Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 19)
Never mind their Switch remakes, the release dates of the original Pokémon Diamond and Pearl definitely makes a lot of us feel old. Perhaps it’s because the DS they were released on finally had a goddam backlight, so gamers too tight to shell out for a GBA SP could play at nighttime. But the Gen 4 games seemed so new and modern at the time, who would have ever thought they’d be several Generations ago now?
We’ve already gone through the usual staples – the starters, the common bird, the rodent. But with the likes of Infernape, Staraptor and Bidoof, Generation 4 has worked wonders so far. It’s after this point that each Generation strays away from the template and goes off to do its own thing, like an enfant terrible who’s just discovered tattoos and piercings. What kind of zoomer designs will Gen 4 come up with?
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Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 18)
Welcome to the fourth Generation of Pokémon, where Fire-types were thin on the ground, the Champions and high-level Trainers were getting sexier and the action came to you across two, count ’em, two screens. Twice the screens had to mean twice the Poké Power, right? Well, below we’ll look at pretty much teh same old stereotypes – the three starters, the birb, the Normal annoyer, and the bugs. But listen, don’t panic, because it won’t be all that long before we get to proper big-hitters like Chatot.
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Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 17)
You’re just about to suffer death by Legendary in the last of our Hoenn Pokémon reviews, but that’s if you don’t suffer death by drowning first. After all, this is the lategame of Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald, the point where you’re surfing all day and fighting Wingulls all night. And by all night, I of course mean all day, because the Gen 3 games never bothered with a night-and-day system. The twilight of your GBA journey is also where you’ll start to find Pokémon at the farthest extremes of the Hoenn Pokédex, from a time when 386 Pokémon was starting to become excessive. Can you believe that…?
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Top 5 Gaming Valentines (2021)
St. Valentine’s Day is one of those obstacles that everyone has to get past, unfortunately – a day of painful reminders for the singletons, and an absolute minefield for those of us actually in a relationship. Still, I’m sure we all lap up a good romance in fiction, and that extends to gaming – even if the beau and the belle are little more than 8-bit pixels. Whether you live for February 14th, or whether you can’t wait for the whole rigmarole to be over, our look at five of gaming’s power couples should help get you in the Valentine’s mood.
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Top 5 Retro Final Bosses (2020)
You’ve shelled out your hard-earned cash on a brand-spanking new game, gotten through the first few levels, built up your skill and routed all the henchmen. Now all that stands between you and that satisfying, sweet release of the credits screen is the dastardly Final Boss. Yes, it’s tough to even think of any game that doesn’t boast some sort of a final foe for you to defeat – and in the case of most games, particularly in days gone by, the Final Boss was the biggest showpiece of the entire caper.
Wouldn’t you feel short-changed if you took down a load of megabosses, and fought your way to the end of a challenging run-and-gun game, only to be confronted with a teensy pushover of a last opponent? You couldn’t have ended Street Fighter 2 by fighting Dhalsim, could you? In the case of final bosses, bigger and meaner is definitely better. Here, we take a look at the Top 5 Retro Final Bosses, showing that even primitive hardware can throw up some of the most cataclysmic battles ever.
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Super Smash Bros Pub Fight Tier List (Part 10)
You don’t need me to tell you that Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has been an absolute triumph, a hugely ambitious project in a series that boggles and reboggles its fans with the sheer scope of all the features included. Well, an even more ambitious project was also set to draw to a close – namely my Smash Bros Pub Tier List (but of course).
But then – wouldn’t you know it – more DLC has been announced, meaning that all of the Fighter’s Pack #1 guys, girls and bears below are already old hat. Can you believe that? Actually, what I can’t believe is how quickly I flexed my stubborn attitude on downloadable content, and bought it. Whereas previously, if it wasn’t on the disc or cartridge or cassette tape then I either stole it or didn’t want to know. But now I’m on my knees in front of Sakurai-san, waiting for him to finish. Ah, finish the second Fighter’s Pack, that is. Continue reading “Super Smash Bros Pub Fight Tier List (Part 10)”
Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 16)
Back to our trip of Hoenn, and we’re at that stage of the Pokédex that’s usually the most obscure: the beginning of the Dex is your starters, the common bird, the Rattata equivalent, and maybe a cute Pikaclone or two. The last section of the Regional Dex is where the mascot Legendaries, the Dragonite, and maybe some evolutions from previous Generations live. You don’t tend to forget about those guys.
Right before the heaps of Legendary Pokémon that Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald foisted on us is the likely lads below, with some of them quite a bit more forgettable than others. We’re talking chameleons, ghosties, and giant ice heads today. You can’t knock Hoenn for its variety, can you?
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