Month: February 2023

Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 23)

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Building the Best Pokémon Team (Part 23)

It doesn’t come as a surprise anymore that the Legendary Pokémon are so numerous that I have to divide them up into two separate parts. As I’ve said before, if every Pokémon is legendary, then none of them are, although you at least make sure to catch the one that appears on your version’s box art. That’s usually the easiest way of making yourself a battling god.

And speaking of god, if you’re a very talented trainer, by which I mean you’re either able to time travel back to 2007 when Nintendo events were being held, or if you had a flash cart and were good at hacking, then you could quite literally catch god, as you will see below. No, not the god of application forms or interior design or anything small-time like that, we’re talking about the god of everything. How overpowered is that?

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A Classic Irishman takes his time to sus things out right

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Among Us (2018)

I had problems with the Among Us game from the start. It’s a fully online game you see, and you know what that means – rooms upon rooms full of cretins, or children, which are practically the same thing. Have you ever wandered into a classroom and found yourself confronted by a room full of the dumbest looking Patrick Starfishes ever, all gawping back at you? Well, that’s what your typical Among Us room looks like.

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All aboard the Zelda train! Next stop: the anorak masonry

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The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks (2009)

I want to bring you, Henry Hill style, into a murky underworld. Don’t worry though, you won’t be an accomplice in anything, nobody’s getting whacked here. Still, there’s plenty of wiseguys having to look over their shoulder all the time, because they’re only minutes away from getting embroiled in it all. Welcome to the dark and seedy world of model trains.

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A Nintendo demo cartridge? No way, it’s gotta be cursed

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Metroid Prime Hunters (2006)

Demos, don’t talk to me about demos. A live demo of something might be the worst thing of all to give to people, yes, even ahead of gonorrhoea. I have found myself in the unenviable position of having to give live demonstrations of how a particular piece of software was meant to work. When you’re in that position, old Murphy can’t get his arse in gear fast enough to track you down and invoke his law, to make it all go wrong for you.

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The first Mega Man RPG – enjoy the new playstyle and the new average

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Mega Man X: Command Mission (2004)

I probably don’t have to say this, but I do hope nobody actually takes my opinions onboard. Anyone holding me up as some sort of esteemed critic must be mad, because I’ve got no taste whatsoever. I think Fallout is generally rubbish, and I had no time for most of Tarantino’s work after Pulp Fiction. On the other hand, I thought Batman & Robin was alright, and my favourite music artist is Donkey Kong.

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Grow a pair (of vocal chords) and spare yourself the curse of family gatherings

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Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King (2006)

It’s a pretty obvious rule of social engagement – in this existence, you have to pick your battles wisely, otherwise you’ll live a life of stress and shame while everyone avoids you like the plague. It’s anything for an easy life, so sometimes you just have to ask yourself, is it worth the stress if I kick up a fuss here and do my own thing? It’s why I’m a pretty easy-going guy in general, happy to keep the old head down and avoid falling out with people. I’ve had to stick my head above the social parapet as it were though, and take a stand against that worst of social institutions – the family party.

Continue reading “Grow a pair (of vocal chords) and spare yourself the curse of family gatherings” →