Keep your chin up and maintain your radiance, even as the job market Crits you

Fie Emblem: Path of Radiance (2005)

We’re at that time again, fellow lemmings, time that I left my job to get a new one. For a start, I can tell you that I’ve never subscribed to this whole theory of never leaving a job unless you’ve something else lined up. I suppose there’s that mature fear where you’ll turn out to be a wee bit less of a tantalising prospect than you had thought, which is always a hefty blow for any man or indeed woman.

But you can’t tell me that you just become immediately unemployable on the Friday afternoon that you finish up. The last job I left, no sooner had I given a fairly rubbish speech than I was out the door and in a car, booting to the airport for a drunken weekend in one of my favourite cities, Liverpool. When I got home on the Sunday, I was able to sleep through the Monday while the other plankton had to go to work. It was great – I felt like Ferris Bueller.

I did have to begin the job hunt soon enough, of course, even though we’ve got a hell of a generous dole. But what it meant was a nice 2 months off for me in some seriously sunny weather, or you might even call it scorchio. So that was me leaving a bad job, having a but more time to meself, and into a much better one, having had bundles of time to sunbathe. It doesn’t get much better than that does it? Of course it does, I could be part of the idle rich ranks, and spend all my time writing rubbish. Well, maybe I’ve got the best of both worlds. Either way I highly recommend leaving a nice luxurious gap like this between all your stints. After all we tend to leave a job only when we truly can’t stick it anymore. But can you imagine leaving an awful scenario Friday, and walking into an even worse fire on the Monday? My mental health ain’t built for that, baby, and I don’t need to take any mental health days on the job- I take ’em in between, very American. Of course, you don’t always have to be leaving a concentration camp day job, it may simply be that you could get a lot more money elsewhere, and here we get to the nub of it. It doesn’t matter if we’re manning soup kitchens, selling beige office supplies or drilling for oil in mink coats, the major denominator in any job is how much cashola you’ll be getting. I don’t want to hear any moral bleating, that’s always the way it is. But we can’t say that. Seriously, you try doing a job interview and waiting for that old chestnut question “why do you want to come to work for Tedium Inc”. Give them an honest answer, that the salary on offer would change your life until you become too quickly adjusted to your means and not realise until your deathbed that actually, that was enough and you didn’t need to chase more. Tell the interviewer that it’s some serious bread, or the remuneration is good going forward or even that your primary motivation is you’ll be able to eat more than chewing gum and mould that month, and watch his spotty cohort prat scribbling furiously in his clipboard instead. Wrong answer sunbeam,  and that’s another interview and ergo another afternoons wear out of your suit gone, but at least you can exhale now. It’s ridiculous really , companies cam be brazen about how they’re Tring to win as much cheddar as possible, so why can’t the employees? It’s even become frowned upon to discuss one’s salary with your own team, but asks yourself who loses out on that? Actually if I learned useless people I work with made more than me, I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions so perhaps that’s a good thing after all.

So I ask – What’s wrong with being a money chasing mercenary? Not an awful lot so long as you’re good, I profess, but I need to go  to that eternal font of knowledge the Nintendo GameCube, to find out. Mind you, the life coach in question, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance costs quite a pretty penny, as these life coaches often do, so you must ask: what are you really getting for your money?

Well, in this game you follow a ragtag gang of mercenaries, who will go on to be lead by an oik called Ike, later of Smash Bros fame. It’s a very GameCubey type of game this, if that makes any sense. Wario World and Luigi’s Mansion are other examples. Now you may not be a Fire Emblem fan, but what migh thelp is that this one is actualy fairly easy to understand with nice tutorials and generally a forgiving difficulty curve. Some call it too easy, but like going for as much money as possible, what’s wrong with choosing an easy life? There’s difficulty levels in any case, which really just determine how often you’ll be resetting the game when one of your Stooges falls victim to the old dreaded permadeath. 

I’m uncomfortably aware that the moment I update my LinkedIn (which I had deleted [link to ninja gaiden] but have now, in a clear case of humans rights abuse, been forced to add one by my old employer) to be looking for a job, I shall have hundreds of vulture “recruiters” who reckon they’re elite sharks but never seem to realise that they’re minnows who don’t know their proverbial arse from their elbow. I’ve even had recruiters try to place me in jobs I’ve just left. 

I’ll tell you though, this mercenary job isn’t one that comes cheap, a copy of FE: POR could cost you over 250 clams, certainly it does in Europe where GameCube games struggled for shelf space against hte PS2 almost right from the very beginning. That’s not chump change, though if you’re a GameCube connoisseur then it’s absolutely worth it – plus, if you’re colelcting GameCube you’ve probably got a few quid spare anyway. One thing I really enjoy about Path of RAdiance is the art style, right down to the boxart of this game. It just looks expensive, a premium product, but quite irrespective of the price I still reckon this to the be the best of the Fire Emblem games so far.

I do think you’ll like Ike, he’s got a bit of an attitude, and I don’t mean in that duff Sonic (or, shudder, Shadow) but he doesn’t mind telling people to shut up and putting enemy gurriers to death. A lot better than your mealy-mouthed milquetoast other Nintendo characters who are all nice and good and wetty, and ten times better than the ones who simply don’t talk at all. He’d be great in job interviews

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